Bryi

Tue, 31 Jul 2007 21:34:29 GMT

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥~GOODBYE~♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
♥~LIVEJOURNAL~♥
New journal is here, peeps!

To-Do List

Mon, 30 Jul 2007 06:45:03 GMT

This is mostly a "note to self" sort of thing, so please to be ignoring. Unless you want to comment saying "GETCHOR LAZY ASS IN GEAH" or "U CAN DO EET" or "RELAAAAX STOP DOING SO MUCH".

* Identify and label my few hundred stones where possible
* Remove/throw away/give away stones not needed
* Take unidentified stones to The Rock Hound
* Check ferry schedules for Port Angeles day trip
* Finish reading library books, return or renew
* Start studying A Course In Miracles, again
* Read The Four Agreements and The Mastery of Love before dad force-feeds me them
* Research "cyberpunk", "steampunk", "post-apocolyptic scenarios", etc
* Develop setting for band-project-story
* Draw that cute comic
* Finish 9 items on "To Draw" list
* Start writing those contriversial essays (I have a two-page list to go on, now)
* Practice short and long distance Reiki, crystal therapy
* Work on healing stamina
* Do at least one Reiki treatment for money (saving up for a book and a singing bowl)
* Attempt to start jogging again (oh god...)
* Beat level 4 of Gauntlet Legends, already
* Make Vicki's necklace, calculate cost
* Start writing some frigging poetry and short fiction when possible
* Fangirl about car show, gold chess set, the otters and the ladybug
* Reinstall Limewire (its not working on mine or dad's computer)
* Download "No Sugar Tonight/New Mother Nature" by Guess Who (does anyone want to try to download it for me? ;O;)
* Contact the craniosacral practitoner, schedule treatment
* Quit having these stupid freaking dreams and/or nightmares all the time
* Stop being so upset and depressed and lonely and PATHETIC
* Journal more often, dammit (not here, I already get enough flak for writing too many entries...)
* Start learning Toki Pona
* ...RELAX.

Sun, 29 Jul 2007 08:58:28 GMT

Is it bad that I'm inordinately proud of myself for doing my first successful load of laundry? o______o;; I'm pretty sure that's a sad accomplishment at my age. BUT AN ACCOMPLISHMENT NEVER THE LESS, MIRITE?

*cough* Right. Going into town later with Vicki and dad to Market Square for beading material (Vicki commisioned a necklace from me), the Inner Harbour for a '32 Deuce show with over 250 cars (did I mention that's my dream car? *FROTH*) and also possibly The Papery on Fort so I can fanfag over the hundreds of journals and handmade rolls of paper. I'm excited because oh my god, shiny beads and shiny cars and PAPER omg omg omg.

Also, speaking of fanfaggotry...I've starting slowly downloading and reading the Bleach manga. The art is rather fantastic and from what I've heard, the story-line is pretty incredible, but I haven't gotten past cracking up over the fact that Ichigo can't speak without yelling. I mean, seriously. I've heard less-than-stellar reviews about the anime, on the other hand, probably because after 100+ episodes the animators seem to get very lazy. (Those caps yoinked from finnigan_geist, of course.) I'm probably biased because of the filler wank that's apparently just ending (thank god) but whatever. I'm sure I'll notice if it redeems itself.

Aaand I still haven't figured out what the hell the plot is for the cyberpunk band project. Of course, referring to it like that brings back memories of referring to Child of Moon and Stars as "Eliseo's story" for like 3 months. I think it needs a plot really fast so I can name it, srsly. Augh. Oh well. At least I found some blackmail-material-that-turns-into-a-small-plot-point for Saint and Candy. Oh ho ho, its amusing. Especially since Saint is such a tightass. <3

And for the rest of it:
Reading: Not much. Slooowly going through Bleach, but basically paused on everything else until my comprehension skills come back. Its like I need to drag out my kiddy books or something, I swear to god.
Writing: Again, not much. LJ entries are about the extent of it, these days.
Drawing: A little. Managed 3 nice drawings in...something like 2 weeks. Its sad, but at least I got something.
Downloading: The Ranma manga (shut up, I read it when I was a kid and still like it) and the soundtrack from Mononoke Hime, otherwise known as "Princess Mononoke".
Epiphanies: I'm staying up entirely too late. I don't fail quite as hard as I thought I did. I can do laundry, oh my god. I'm slowly turning into my worst nightmare: an anime fangirl. DON'T LET ME TURN INTO ONE, PLEASE ;O;
Consumer Whore Status: May possibly be buying a huge, amazing piece of labradorite from China for...$20-$30, including shipping. Over here, that'd be worth something like $40-$60, without shipping. I found 20lb polished massive chunks for the same price a small, polished globe would be retail in Campbell River: $110. Oh my god.

This concludes another long, pointless entry that no one will care about. I'M GOOD AT MAKING ENTRIES LIKE THAT GUYZ :D Ah well, maybe I'll get less radio silence when I eventually start posting art and pin-up photos again. 8D?

Addendum: the GreatestJournal is set up and looking somewhat polished. Ignore the stupid test post. I'll let the intarnets know if/when I decide to move over there.

Sat, 28 Jul 2007 10:33:46 GMT

I dunno, I'm kind of tired of LiveJournal. I'm thinking of moving to Greatest Journal for various reasons, although the lack of LJ cuts may be a grevious loss. Pros include 2000 userpics (man I've got so many great ones, but I can't USE THEM >:O), no ads, and less HAY THAR LETS NOT WORK EVAR bullshit. And that whole contriversial-material-culling that went on a while back.

Like I said, I dunno. I'll have to investgate. In the meantime, here, have a blank, unupdated, unedited journal. (If I end up using it, that colour scheme is dead in the water). SHOULD I? SHOULD I NOT? Y/N? CAN I GET A WHAT WHAT?

EDIT: HOSHIT THEY HAVE LJ CUTS. THIS IS NOW SERIOUS BUSINESS.
...
OH GOD ITS 3:30AM WHY DO I KEEP DOING THIS. SOMEBODY BRICK ME.

Sat, 28 Jul 2007 06:45:48 GMT

I'm bleeding all over the place and do you know why? I cut my finger on a gum wrapper. WHAT THE FUCK. >:|

*shakes head* Soooo much fail.

The past few days have...sucked so much ass its not even funny anymore. The only upsides were short-lived: planning a trip to a car show (more on that later) on Sunday, seeing mah darling Vicki, and finding out the names, appearances and vague personalities of the characters for the polygamous post-apocolyptic band project. I have nothing better to do, so...

Females: Kestral, Rosary, Spider.
Males: Eden, Candy, Saint, Dragonfly.

Kestrel is the vaguely level-headed, upbeat one. Rosary is rather detatched and naive. Spider is a goth/punk throwback with an attitude problem. Eden is excessively calm and subtly sweet. Candy is the overly perky crossdresser. (Shut up its not like you didn't expect me to throw one in there. D:) Saint is uptight, confused, and too serious. Dragonfly is the eccentric tease.

There. Now, as is probably preferable, you won't hear about them again until my art posts are spammed with drawings of them. The last thing I'll say about it is: besides the whole post-apocolyptic cyberpunk world I'm throwing them into, I have no plot whatsoever. HELP PLZ? ;O; What sort of zany situations can a gothic cover band get themselves into in a government-free, law-free, the-world-is-on-fire sort of setting, anyways?

At any rate, I still can't draw so I had to use elouai to make .jpgs of their appearances for reference later. Its going to be insanely helpful, I can already tell. On a side note, I tried to get Vicki to guess which one was the transy and she couldn't figure it out. I suppose its harder to tell with small, pixelated carbon-copy forms, but whatever. It amused both of us.

Now I'm just rambling because I have nothing better to do and I'm bored but I can't read or draw or whatever...afdklafjsfa. I've been feeling extremely lonely lately for no apparent reason (besides my hermit tendancies, but I think it goes beyond even that) and I really can't figure it out and its BOTHERING ME. >:| Lune keeps telling me write violent fluff, but I'm like, "DUDE I CAN'T EVEN WRITE LET ALONE WRITE COMPLICATED PSEUDO PORN ARE YOU KIDDING ME." She had some long, rambly reason why, but I can't remember it now.

My heart hurts. :(

Thu, 26 Jul 2007 07:41:59 GMT

Guess who dropped off the deep end again.

Yeah, me. How the fuck did you guess.

God, its like Paxil withdrawl all over again. Can't read, can't write coherantly, can't comprehend words or numbers, can't focus or concentrate, jerky body movement, joint pain, can't talk straight, not sleeping, hallucinations, voices starting up again...

I'm such a fucking wreck its almost funny.

Wed, 25 Jul 2007 05:23:39 GMT

When I was six years old, I was diagnosed with a shit-load of allergies. For years, I couldn't eat any dairy, wheat, chocolate, and sugar. I'm still allergic to hazelnuts and strawberry seeds, but I can deal with those. The other allergies, until I got over them recently, caused me no end of resentment and hatred toward the world, my parents, and the medical systems that diagnosed me (both naturopathic and pharmaceutical). Every time I was in a grocery store, a restaurant, at a friend's house or birthday party...whatever. It would be drilled into me that I was different in more ways than I already harbored anger for, and even now its hard to remember that. I'm free from the really restricting allergies now, thank god, but my childhood was incredibly hard because of it.

We just found out my younger cousin, Angela, is severely allergic to dairy, chocolate, sugar, yeast, and eggs.

My first thought on hearing this news? Oh god, no, she's only 8 years old. Two years older than I was. I...don't really know what to think. Remorse, I suppose, and some pity. I know she'll be able to handle it, because she's an incredibly strong girl with a will of steel, but...I remember how hard it hit me when I realized that I wasn't going to be able to eat anything my friends could.

*sigh* Anyways. There's your emo-family post for the day. I had my optometrist appointment today, and found out the stigmatism in my left eye is slightly worse, so I've got a fresh prescription of lenses coming in a few days. (In layman's terms, my left eye is very weak, but my right eye is only somewhat weak, so on top of needing glasses I need special lenses. They'll never be perfect unless I get expensive specialty ones, so my vision is going to be very slightly blurry regardless of how fine-tuned the lenses are.) After the appointment I stopped by Dragon Horse to buy some stuff (more on that in a moment) and talked to Erin until closing time. She told mom a while back that she had a very similar history and childhood to mine, and that I was welcome to her company if I ever needed someone to talk to. She said today that she was sincere about it, because I mentioned how appreciative I was and that a lot of people say that, but they don't really mean it. I told her I was really grateful, because she's an absolutely wonderful person. And, as it turns out, my twin from a different mother. She has bipolar like me, had depression and sucidal tendancies in her youth, is extremely sensitive to alcohol, drugs and psychic attack/occurances, is fascinated by metaphysics (obviously), has the same beliefs as me about Christian morals and the lack of hell (or rather, our physical lifetimes being hell in metaphorical terms), and is obsessed with crop circles. Who knew?

So, I bought a book that's been crooning, "Take me hooooome" since the first day I saw it, so I finally did: Daily Guidance From Your Angels by Doreen Virtue. Also, got some more lepidolite after I found out its not only good for bipolar, its also excellent for people who are extremely sensitive to the negative energy from computers and television. Along with the lepidolite, I found a little piece of pale labradorite for 50 cents, a stunning chunk of red tiger eye (I later found out I already had 3 gorgeous chunks at home in my 'found rocks' piles, but ah well), a piece of bloodstone (which I should have gotten more of, because its amazing) and last but not least, a piece of angelite, which is used primarily for...da dah da dah! Helping people who have trouble speaking their truth. I won't upload pictures, because pictures wouldn't do any of them justice.

On a completely unrelated note: I was rather gorgeous today, and captured the moment for posterity on film. I will upload when I get the chance, because it boggled my mind.

I'll be at SPYcell tomorrow night at Josh's...and at Youth on Friday, so if you want to catch me, I'll be there. I believe Super Smash Bros will arrive tomorrow morning, so prepare for fanfaggotry quite soon.

EDIT: See! Was I lying? You tell me! :D

Tue, 24 Jul 2007 08:11:44 GMT

Meta-conversations, a couple of which are of extremely varying ages. If some of them seem out-of-character, its because many of the metas take place when they're trying to annoy the hell out of me. Metaphorically speaking, I mean. (And if you think meta-conversations are just the blasphemous products of my overactive imagination, I don't want to hear it.)

Bryi: Damn, you look stressed out. Wanna talk about it?
Xaxa: I don't understand it! *pouts* Every time I go to crawl into Tashum's bed, he's all like, "XAXA! GET THE FUCK OUT!"
Bryi: ...I think I see your problem, dear.

Bryi: Aw god, tell me there isn't another reunion scene. Those things are so...so...overdone and cliche.
Eliseo: There's another reunion scene--
Bryi: What did I just say?! >:|
Eliseo: --but its really dramatic and surprising!
Bryi: *sigh* All right, what's dramatic and surprising about it...
Eliseo: Well, its a challenge for you, because we're both on horseback until the last moment. And, uh... *shifty eyes*
Bryi: Whaaat?
Eliseo: ....Cull comes back to--AUGH DON'T HURT ME D:
Bryi: TOO. CLICHE. FOR. WORDS. *claw hands*
Eliseo: BUT ITS THE TRUUUUTH~ *edges away*

Bryi: Are you aware you're a masochist?
Tymmeick: Uh huh. :)
Bryi: And a nymphomaniac?
Tymmeick: *nodnod*
Bryi: ...and a pedophile?
Tymmeick: Yup! :3
Bryi: You like it, don't you.
Tymmeick: *grins* What do you think?
Bryi: Ohmygodyou'redepraved.
--(later)--
Tymmeick: Can I borrow your copy of Lolita?
Bryi: Oh hell no.
Tymmeick: Don't you even want to think about it for a minu--
Bryi: NO. And I swear to god, if you suddenly turn into a living, breathing Humbert, I will kill your children.
Tymmeick: "Lolita! Light of my life, fire of my loins. My sin, my--"
Bryi: WTF YOU'VE READ IT ALREADY.
Tymmeick: *croons* Gentlewomen of the jury! Bear with me! Allow me to take just a tiny bit of your precious time! So this was le grand moment.
Bryi: Gtfo.
Tymmeick: ...this is the only immortality you and I may share, my Lolita!
Bryi: OUT. 8|
Tymmeick: <3

Lune: So what is it, exactly, that you like about this game?
Bryi: *playing Gauntlet Legends, transfixed by screen*
Lune: Is it the insanely slow character response time?
Bryi: ...
Lune: Is it the complete inability to aim from any distance?
Bryi: ...
Lune: Is it the requirement to turn off all magic devices before they run out of seconds?
Bryi: ...
Lune: Is it the extremely bad graphics and cheesy overvoice?
Bryi: ...
Lune: Is it the terrible single camera viewpoint?
Bryi: ...I'm sorry, what? I wasn't listening.
Lune: *sigh* I'll sum it up. Gauntlet. Legends. Sucks. Gaming. ASS.
Bryi: ;O;
Lune: ...and you suck at playing it.
Bryi: K'fine. Lets see you do any better.
Lune: I'm a noncorperal entity! I can't!
Bryi: HA! At least I can move the joystick!

Jahhden: You promised you'd play Goldeneye today!
Bryi: That was before this came in the mail. *waves Gauntlet around*
Jahhden: But you hardly played Gauntlet today! You played Majora's Mask for 3 hours.
Bryi: Yeah, so?
Jahhden: So go play Goldeneye now...
Bryi: Dude. No.
Jahhden: Why not? D:
Bryi: ...its almost 1am and I have an optometrist appointment in 14 hours.
Jahhden: ...so?
Bryi: Correct me if I'm wrong, but do you have any grasp on reality at all? No, no, don't answer that. It was rhetorical.

Hope that was somewhat entertaining. Now, I shall try to get some sleep because like I told Jahhden, I actually do have an optometrist appointment in 14 hours. And since mom is at her job at that time (le gasp...did I forget to mention she's employed again?) I've got to haul my own ass into gear and walk over there. Yay, having to deal with the medical profession and be socially correct for 2 hours! What fun!

Mon, 23 Jul 2007 04:57:33 GMT

Is it just me, or was today a really fucking bad day?

I think its just me.

Maybe I'm exaggerating. It wasn't really that bad of a day, but it was pretty darn awful. I can barely walk because I've put my left hip out somehow (have you ever put the sacral area of your hip out? You know, the part where there's two dimples fairly low on your spine? Oh-god-it-hurts-like-a-bitch), and I've been feeling sick and...generally gross, all day. I keep breaking out into random rashes on my arms and back that aren't very uncomfortable at all...until I scratch them slightly, after which they burn like someone chucked boiling water onto me for up to 15 minutes. I went to bed at a reasonable hour last night, but was strangely too exhausted to get up until around 1:30 in the afternoon. I've been having these terrible headaches on top of all that, but since I vowed not to take pain-medication anymore, its worse than I'm used to. Yes, that means I'm not taking Advil for the hip issue, either. On top of the body exhaustion, there's some kind of mental exhaustion that seems to prevent me from doing anything that requires much thinking...I can't read out numbers or spell words aloud without messing them up, I can't read more than a few pages in a sitting before having to put the text down for several minutes, and writing is on the passable side of improbable, but I can feel that slipping too. Its like the comprehending sector in my brain is shutting off.

I don't know where I was going with that, but it was probably pretty emo. This is just my generic "lol im upset" post for the week, so either ignore it or smother me with affection or shoot me or whatever. At least I managed to order Super Smash Bros in one of my rare coherant moments, earlier. I'm living from moment to moment right now, and I don't know what I'm going to do when the something-to-look-forward-to's run out.

Mon, 23 Jul 2007 01:39:22 GMT

Because its valid to current events, here, have a book meme. I'll explain a little more at the end.

1. Total number of books I've owned:
It would take another 16 years just to attempt to count them. Probably several hundred, possibly more.

2. Last book I bought:
That would be Gravity's Rainbow. Its essentially one of those insane, on-drugs books, but the difference between this and books like The Illuminatus! is the fact that its not only a cult classic, its a true classic. That being said, I haven't read it yet.

3. Last book I read:
The Stonehenge Gate, a sci fi novel. After I got past the somewhat pointless alien racism diatribes and endless repeats of the characters saying "your Little Mama's hell" and "my Little Mama's hell", it was a somewhat pleasant read. Definately not a favorite, though. I'd give it 3 out of 5 stars, I think.

4. Ten books that mean a lot to me: (in no specific order)
1. The Illuminatus by Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson. I have to echo myself, but its wonderfully, brain-breakingly cracktastic. Take every known addictive substance ever created, put it in text form, and read it. You now have yourself a copy of The Illuminatus. I'd never be able to explain the plot if you gave me a year...there's many allusions to the Bavarian Illuminati as well as almost every conspiracy theory in existance. Talking dolphins, hippie riots, addicted geniuses, more hallucinations than you can shake a stick at.

2. Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand. (I couldn't give the exact page for this one, because there's so many companies publishing it.) The largest, most involved, most intelligent tome I've ever read, and again, much too large and spectacular to even begin to describe the plot. A lot of it centers around a national train station, and a hell of a lot of psychology and drama.

3. Lord of the Rings by J.R.R. Tolkien. Do I even need to say it?

4. Dhalgren by Samuel R. Delany. Post apocalyptic science fiction with a twist. Sort of a mix of the crack from Illuminatus, the stunning prose and characterization of Atlas Shrugged, and the epic plot proportions of LoTR. Packs the end of the world into 879 pages, but at the end you still haven't figured out if it was real or not, if the characters survived, if you were really on Earth, and if the end ever came, what the main character's real name was.

5. The Man Who Fell In Love With The Moon by Tom Spanbauer. I'm sure you all remember my extreme fangirling, and I don't need to repeat myself. The plot is set in the Old West, complete with gay cowboys, "Indians" (Native Americans), brothels, and the best character voice I've ever read. All of his books are 4.5/5 or 5 stars, in my opinion.

6. Dreamcatcher by Stephen King. Its not typical "horror" like the rest of his books (although it has a fair amount of horror, gore, suspense and terror mixed in) but rather modern science fiction: alien invasion, but in a way you'd never expect. Not many books make me laugh out loud, but this one has...giggling fits are just the start for Dreamcatcher, though. It sways between anger, terror, hilarity, insanity, sadness, and dubious amounts of "what...the...FUCK...?"

7. What The Bleep Do We Know?! by various authors. I don't think I need to explain my love for this one, either.

8. Secrets In The Fields by Freddie Silva. The most complete and involved manuscript on crop circles ever written. It includes every theory ever put forth, every attempt at hoaxing, and the amazing connection of every circle to the school of Sacred Geometry.

9. Conversations With God by Neale Donald Walsh. A wonderful channeled narriative between Walsh and God (or, should I say, the Universal conciousness, or Goddess, or whatever) spanning three books. Every single thing mentioned makes perfect sense, and the text is beyond beautiful. I try not to push spiritual things on people because of the modern tendancy to view them as hoaky and contrived, but these books are absolutely brilliant. Some people may say they're fiction, but even if they are...does it matter, when the statements are so true?

10. Otherland (the first four books on the page) by Tad Williams. Without a doubt, the best science fiction/cyberpunk books I've ever read. At the end of the fourth and final novel, you still want more. Tad's imagination is without par, and the worlds he creates are the most lyrical and inventive I've ever seen.

5. Which 5 people would you most like to see fill this out in their blog?
Well, since only two people that I know of actually read my journal, I'd like to see pvtpuppet and thedivinechaos have a go at it, if you want. :3 The list of "ten books" was actually five to begin with (I changed it because I couldn't whittle the list down that far) so feel free to cut the extra five off if you want to do it.

Okay, so, reasons I did the meme. One, I wanted to, but two...well, it seems inconsequential, but I'm kind of irked. I had hoped Eliseo's story would be the last for a long time, but of course with these new characters popping up I feel obligated to start fleshing their story out, at least a little. I remembered that when the characters came to me originally, a few years ago, they'd been inspired by...none other than Dhalgren. What irks me is not so much being ambushed by a new story when I'm not even working on my current ones, but rather the timing of something else. I have this obsession about finishing library books without renewing them, and also an obsession with finishing books to the bitter end even if they're absolute pap. A third--not obsession but instead, bad habit--is getting really into a book, forgetting about it for what's usually a crisis reason, and then when the third renew expires (the library only allows 3) not being able to finish it in time.

My problem is, I have all three of those obsessions and/or bad habits in play right now, and about 15 library books I need to read, but since the characters popped up again on Thursday, I've been mournfully staring at the dog-eared copy of Dhalgren that was taunting me from the bookshelf. I ignored the temptation for a few days, but as soon as I finally got assertive and said "Aw, fuckit" and picked it up to start reading...I barely made it past page 2 before a wave of exhaustion, nausea, and one hell of a migraine laid me out for the count.

THERE'S A CONSPIRACY OCCURRING SOMEWHERE HERE >:|

That concludes this entirely pointless waste-of-your-time-post.

Sat, 21 Jul 2007 21:57:59 GMT

I think I'm just going to stop doing art posts on LiveJournal. :/ It takes far too much time, especially with the whole LOL U CANT UPLOAD PICTARS BITCH thing its got going on right now. If an art upload is going to be finicky, stubborn, and extremely time consuming, I mayaswell just resort to DeviantART. Because that's slightly less aggravating and has the possibility of reaping rewards. Aka a coherant gallery.

I was going to do a meta-conversation post, but I'm pretty sure that would turn out pretty bland seeing as all the meta-conversations I've been having lately are basically just big inside jokes. Inside jokes stop being funny once you have to explain them, so I'm not gonna bother.

So hey! How about a boring update post!

Reading: The Illuminatus, off and on. I'd forgotten how sublimely cracktastic it was. The Clone Republic is the one I picked up purely for research purposes and in spite of that, am finding myself enjoying it. Harris is charmingly flawed, and his flaws are showcased much more than normal since he's the only natural-born human in his batallion...the rest are clones. Not of him, because that'd make things boring (he's far too obedient from all the brainwashing).
Also, Poemcrazy, which is feeling a tad spare and autobiographical instead of what its advertised as; a manual for out-of-the-blue poetry. Then again, most books that try to teach you how to write anything seem to be mainly wank about the author's life, 1001 examples of bad fiction/poetry, and the 10 easy steps on how to be a poetic lemming just like everyone else who reads the book. LAAAME. (But I'm reading it anyways.)
About to start Gravity's Rainbow or Against The Day, probably the latter because its a 1000+ page library book opposed to a 700+ page book I actually own. Still slogging through Poetic Medicine slowly, because unlike other books of its kind, it seems to actually be making some valid points and suggestions. Hoorah for progress.

Writing: A new story may or may not have ambushed my subconcious on Thursday's train ride home, and so I may or may not be obsessing about that shortly. I also found out a little more of what happens at the end of Eliseo's story; mainly, a lot of drama and the return of Cull, which isn't actually as bad as you might expect. SPOILERS FTW but since I utterly fail at getting any writing done whatsoever--and that's not even counting the good writing, which is almost nonexistant--its not going to matter anyways. I could blab about every plot point, plot twist, and plot explosion from here to the Trading City, and it wouldn't matter.

Drawing: Nooothing.

Watching: Planning on watching The Blues Brothers sometime this weekend. Its one of those movies I actually enjoyed somewhat the first 4 times, and will probably still enjoy. Old movies, blues music, big guns, comedy and explosions. Ahh. Oh, and I got dad to download a file with all 91 episodes of Red VS Blue, the result being if I die laughing one more time its going to break some sort of fourth wall or time paradox. Or something. That being said, even though it was funny before, I finally get the whole context of the "lightish red" joke. Ah, Donut. <3

Current State Of Mind: OH MY GOD CANADA POST WHERE IS MY GAUNTLET LEGENDS ;O; Its supposed to this Monday or Tuesday or something but oh my god I can't wait that long. *facedesk*

EDIT: *pffle* I totally forgot to mention what the new story was actually about. Robo Bryi has brains, tru fax! Anyways, its basically this 7-person (4 men, 3 women, I think) band that employs a vast array of costuming for their performances, and they have a strict rule about playing any song but ones that have already been made up...basically, they only do covers. I got the idea from listening to Bananarama's Walk Like An Egyptian and Within Temptation's What Have You Done on loop for something like an hour. They appeared wearing more leather and makeup than what I assumed was physically possible--I tagged them as my latent goth having cloned itself at first, but I was quickly admonished--and molested my brain. Should I develop them further? I think they already introduced themselves to me about two years ago, I just didn't pay attention then...

Fri, 20 Jul 2007 03:44:43 GMT

HONEY, I'M HOOOOOME~

Thank god. And now, without further adieu...links, because LiveJournal is being an ass and not allowing images.

A rather old image of Tashum and Adel. Since Adel is/was a dragon, I figured it might be cold-blooded.

From left to right, Aiah, Larkaiis and Shoaunen. Larkaiis and Shoaunen are having their usual spat over Aiah's refusal to cover her face (its an incredibly strict Tahar custom) while Aiah waxes distressed over the whole situation. She's showing off her skin here, after its been severely damaged by either the radiation she was exposed to or the Taharan air.

White Buffalo Calf Woman, offering a peace pipe. I obviously have no idea what pipes look like. Or buffalos.

A confrontation Jynn and Taeh have after Taeh's return. The background of this takes too long to explain, but it makes slightly more sense if you know that they're half sisters. Same mother: Kerinsa. (Although really the only thing they inheirited from her was their bad attitiudes and lack of morals. Taeh more so than Jynn.)

A sketch of Raven, being her usual self. I'm fiddling with her tattoos almost every time I draw her, but the concept of something pointing at her crotch seems to be a staple.

This will make almost no sense if you haven't read anything by Drunvalo Melchizedeck. Needless to say, after I read that paragraph, this popped into my head immediately and I couldn't keep reading until I'd done it justice.

Taeh, who for some reason morphed into a bruised skater girl for this picture. I couldn't figure out a decal for the skateboard, though. (This is done with markers, so I'm really proud of the bruises and her hair.)

Raven, being gorgeous. Much love for the corset.

More corset love, although the character is unnamed. First time I've drawn a mohawk. This one's unfinished, but I probably won't complete it.

Drawn the night I found out Hapshutset's body was discovered in Egypt. What an ancient Egyptian woman is doing in a contoured corset and Victorian skirts, I don't know, but I'm in love with this drawing. :3

First of the sketches from Campbell River. This was done on Monday, soon after we arrived off of the train. I actually got the idea on the train ride, but was too tired to draw it then. Anyways, a naive woman with nervous hands, and a daughter far more mature than her.

The same woman and child, at what I believe the woman's role is: a maid, or something similar. She's got that deer in headlights look, doesn't she? Her poor daughter looks so long-suffering.

Ryonyhana and the sylyion cub she tried to raise. I'll have to ask her what happened to it after she took Orenda's post-mortem role as Age Messiah.

My favorite of the Campbell River pictures. It really came out of the blue Wednesday morning.

Adel. I wanted to show his relationship to the dragons, although his old form certainly wasn't a traditional form. To us, anyways. He's average, as Ayee dragons go.

Drawn after I overheard a conversation I wasn't meant to, about my apparent "appalling manners" and how I'm "sixteen going on six". I think a picture like this has been brewing for a while. Fun fact: look, its Kevin!

I looked like shit Wednesday night, so here, have a self-portrait. My eyes really did look like that in the mirror; dull and lifeless. Surprisingly, for a self-angst picture, I like how this turned out. It actually looks like me, for once.

Some creature making a snarly-face. Wednesday night, too.

Warning: contains a goodly amount of gore, if you're allergic/attracted to that. Also Wednesday night, when I was feeling numb and torn. Reminiscent of the old amputation/autopsy angst drawings I used to do.

The deer-in-headlights woman, in what's probably a really uncomfortable corset, on a swing. Chucked this onto the page in about 5 minutes.

This morning, while feeling rather victimized and downtrodden. TRU FAX. Also; braaaaains.

Oh god that was a lot of linking. I will not apologize for the long post, because its all LiveJournal's fault. (Didn't I hear something about them not working with Photobucket anymore, or vice versa? Augh.)

Thu, 19 Jul 2007 17:06:49 GMT

I'M READY TO COME HOME NOW GUYS. BECAUSE PEOPLE ARE JERKS. >:|

Noon won't come fast enough.

*melodramatic sigh* Oh well. In the last four days I've done 12 pictures (13 if you count the two on one page) and I'm happy with almost all of them. SO I HAVE A LOT TO SCAN WHEN I GET HOME. Gonna be busy for a few hours, chizz. This is plus the unscanned sketchbook stuff from like, the last month.

In other news, I have a bizzare but persistant craving for a Moolatte. I may just indulge that craving, you know, now that I can touch coffee without suffering irrepairable brain damage. (I know, I know, there isn't much coffee in one of those, BUT WHATEVER.)

Its still cold as fuck up here, and rain is threatening again. I'm not complaining about the lack of sun, just my lack of foresight to bring pants, but OH MY GOD JULY, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU ON.

Wed, 18 Jul 2007 21:42:22 GMT

I really hate it when everyone says, "Speak your truth!" and then "Oh, don't be so fucking emotional. You're ruining it for others with your negative energy."

People are hypocrites. :/

I went back to Inner Odyssey today, on account of a necklace veritably luring me back. I was informed its a one-of-a-kind sterling silver charm, with moonstone centre, and you'll never believe what its modeled off of.

No, really. A crop circle necklace, how cool is that. Srsly. On the scale of cool, it goes off the chart.

Anyways. When packing to come up here, I was looking at weather channels and Sidney's weather patterns, so I was all "oh yeah I won't need no long pants, pshaw". ORLY. Its been cloudy and oh god freezing cold the last two days. Not Monday, on the train ride up...that was a really hot day. The sky is apparently going to barf thunderstorms all night. And I have...two pairs of totally inadequate shorts, two skimpy tank tops, and a summer dress. WHAT IS THIS. Yesterday evening I was cocooned in the down quilt for a few hours, shivering. I finally said augh screw eet when dad and Cliff started boozing, so I grabbed a Smirnoff and I was warmed up pretty quick.

I like it, because I don't like hot or sunny or summer for that matter, but still. :/ Brr.

Tomorrow is a-comin' home time, on ze train. We depart at like 1pm, come back around 5:30, bus home for like 6:30...vacation goes too fast, dammit. Since today is the last real time we can do anything, I'm trying to light a fire under Cliff and dad so I can go to the only bookstore in 50 miles. Yeah, me, somehow not making it to a reputed bookstore within the first 6 hours. Its freaking bizzare.

COUNTRY ROOOOOADS, TAKE ME HOOOOOME~

Tue, 17 Jul 2007 16:33:26 GMT

GUESS WHERE I AM? :D

The train ride was all kinds of awesome, got drunk last night with the family, slept like a rock. 3:11 this morning was the vibration ascension day...thing, so good bye insomnia and hopefully goodbye depression! I feel great, and lighter and...awesome.

This is probably the shortest entry I've ever written, but whatevah.

Mon, 16 Jul 2007 04:38:36 GMT

ARRIGHT ITS TRIP TIEM LOL

...afdafldsfj I have to get up at like 5am. ("afdafldsfj" being the sound I will most likely make upon being woken up at such an ungodly hour. Approximately, I mean. It could be as diverse as "DIE MUTHAFUCKA *falls out of bed*", realisically.)

On a completely unrelated note, although I'd heard rumors of it previously, I just found out today that Hapshutset's body was discovered in an underground tomb in Egypt. I remember when I was young, reading stories of the woman who lived as a male pharaoh and idolizing her for her bravery, intelligence, and tenacity. I was never really confused at why her image was removed from places all over Egypt, shrugging it off as "Well, somebody didn't like her." And now, once and for all, we know what became of her body and the reasons behind the defacement. Clear evidence was found that she was training her daughter, not her son, to follow in her footsteps as pharaoh.

Ignore all that, if it seems superfluous, but its important to me in some convulted way. And its not just because she was a crossdresser, srsly.

A few brief updates before I go MIA for half a week...

Writing: Not doing much with it, after that quick stint of success (2 whole pages worth, oh my god) and any attempts to write poetry that works in any way usually end up being about depressive subjects. I did manage to find out something interesting about one of my rarely mentioned stories--Keir and Baalsar's. I found out that Baalsar's race has two languages; a sign language and a speaking language. They can use the spoken word at certain times (this usually depends on the time of day, which is extremely hard to tell since the mostly-water planet is in a state of near constant precipitation) because the specific vibrations of voice over, say, walking around, attract enormous predators called striders. (But none of that is really important to anyone but me so SHUTTING UP NOW KAY.)
Art: After about a month, I have completed one drawing. Its...in commemoration of the discovery of Hapshutset's body. Its also very good, in my opinion. You'll see it when I'm back.
Reading: Like a rabid geekling on steroids. Too many to name. Would have enjoyed Stranger In A Strange Land more if it hadn't had so much creepy-innocent conversion sex. (This from the chick that just ordered Lolita from Amazon.) And the whole cannibalism thing, but that wasn't quite so bad. It made a lot of sense, in context. Stonehedge Gate was much more enjoyable before it stopped being a novel about interstellar travel and alternate dimensions, and started being a novel about racism. Alien racism at that. White VS Black alien racism. Its...kind of lame. The Passion Of Ayn Rand is starting out to be just as good as Cliff said it would be, and in between all of those (and more) I'm rereading The Illuminatus for something like the third time. Mmm, on-crack-books for the ultimate win. *hearts*
Depression: On the wane. Thank god.
Anorexia: Doing well on the whole "arg must eat" front, and on a related note I haven't had 'cutting' thoughts for a while. I may be on the mend after an inordinately quick relapse. Quick for me, I mean.
Parentals: Dad apologized, mom is not quite such a haughty bitch, and I've been too exhausted to care today. You should have seen me zombie-ing my way around the supermarket. Braaaains...in aisle 8.

Ahem.

THIS.
IS.
SPARTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA~aaaaand I'm off.

Sun, 15 Jul 2007 04:54:32 GMT

I love how I am always highly respected as an equal human being in this household.

I love how my existance is validated with statements like, "You do so know how, you just don't want to! ... Oh, stop getting so down on yourself!"

I love how if they're not having temper tantrums at each other, a metaphorical funnel for excess anger and hatred hovers above my head at all times.

I fucking love this fucking household.

Sat, 14 Jul 2007 04:37:21 GMT

I actually have a lot of art to scan, from like thelastmonthorsomething but... I think the total of two people that read this journal have already seen a great majority of them. Correct me if I'm wrong? Does anyone want art :D?

Tomorrow is going to be...mm. Interesting. Dad and I are leaving around 10, picking Vicki up, bumming around in Victoria and maybe Langford for a while, then back home to spend the evening attempting to dodge flying insults. I had this dream recently where I was walking out of the bathroom and mom appears holding that huge steak knife, so I twitch one way to throw her off, she leaps at me, I bash the back of her head with my elbow as she goes down, and then...I dunno, I ended up killing her. I think I beat her to death, or something. IT WAS JUST A NIGHTMARE SO THAT'S GOOD but I swear to god if it was one of those premonition dreams they'll never get me into a jail cell. I'll die laughing on the way so they'll have to lock up my corpse.

TWO FRIGGING DAYS LEFT UNTIL CAMPBELL RIVER TRIP OH MY GOD. I know I'm being boring and annoying and repetitive but oh my god I don't even care. Caaaampbell Riiiiiveeeeer....

Because I like to be irritating and repetitive: Star count is now 55. Woo! The 50th involved chasing that stupid fucking manta ray around Bowser's volcano lake, and the 55th involved dodging enormous mutated crack-creatures to reach the top of the mountain.
Number of times I've fallen and/or jumped into oblivion: 2943285390 and a half. There was that time the whole thing went "KER-GLITCH" and rattled around in the screen for a while before I fell out of the polygon map.
Level of hatred for the Rainbow Ride world: 63 trillion.
Level of sheer unadulterated LUV for the mini-goombas in Tiny Huge Island: there is no number to express my love for the mini-goombas. (Its OVER NINE THOUSAAA--*shot*) They're somehow more vicious and angry and bloodthirsty when they're smaller than your shoe. And for some reason cause just as much damage. Shouldn't they just sort of...bump you? And shouldn't the mega-ones smush you? Ah, old video game physics.

Oh wait wait. Speaking of which. SPEAKING OF WHICH.  Have you ever mentioned Gauntlet Legends to me only to be assaulted by the Attack of the Fanfag? Have you heard my impassioned rants about how I cannot find a used copy anywhere, even online?

...GUESS WHO BOUGHT GAUNTLET LEGENDS ON AMAZON TODAY. HOLY SHEEEEEET GAUNTLET LEGENDS OH MY GOD *FROTH*   I HAVE TWO CONTROLLERS DOES ANYONE WANT TO PLAY WHEN I GET IT? <333 Thank god it can be one player or multiplayer because I'm not waiting for a 'yes' to start playing.
*SQUEAL* *BOUNCE* *ETC* 8D ...okay I'm done.

If I do post art in the next few days, you may see a veritable deluge of Adel-dragon art. Or just a shit-load of dragons in general. Vicki lent me her dragon reference book so I can actually draw the damn things somewhat anatomically correct now. Before they just looked like oversized radiation-doused dogs. BUT NOW THEY ARE DRAGONS.

I don't think I have anything else important or intellectual to say (pffsh like the above was intelligent anyways) so I'm off.

Fri, 13 Jul 2007 07:27:01 GMT

This is a very short post. Bear with me.

I was originally going to exclaim how awesome I am for getting 50 stars in Super Mario 64 in something like 9 hours, but then I realized how egonistical and repetitive I sounded, so I edited myself before I opened the post page.

So this is what you get. I will allow myself one degree of self-praise as reward for restraining myself.

50 STARS, BITCHES! FIFTYYYYY! I ROCK HARDCORE!

Now back to your regularily scheduled bullshit.

Fri, 13 Jul 2007 02:36:05 GMT

I have yet another reason to be more excited about the trip. A chance to get away from the Queen Bitch. I swear to god, she was actually out for some unspecific revenge today. It was disgusting. So was my return behaviour, but I've completely had it with her. I've had it with the Cheryl Worship, I've had it with the "oh you're just such an emotional, rebellious teenager out to get me all the time, boo hoo, what'd I ever do to you", I've had it with the constant arguments, I've had it with the "I forget everything you've asked me because I'm old", I've had it with her constant "but you are worthy!" followed by a string of insults. I've had it.

On a related note, I let something spill to her when I was angry that I shouldn't have said anything about, and of course now I'm never going to hear the end of it, so I mayaswell belt it out to the internet world too: the anorexia problems have been back for weeks, but I've been scared to say anything about it. Cheryl was the first person I told, last weekend, when I had a panicked meltdown at her house. My level of self-loathing the past two weeks (give or take) has been absolutely through the roof. The day doesn't seem to truly begin until I look at myself in the mirror and affirm what a fat, disgusting whore I am. I know its completely contradictory to everything I've been taught--and am still being taught, and of course this makes me feel more inspid and pathetic because I'm so stupid for not learning the simple rules--but I can't seem to shake it. Every time I see Cheryl, I tell her I've tried everything I could think of, and within a few seconds she can think of three things that I forgot. I finally explained last weekend how I've been forgetting everything, being angry all the time, losing my notes, having meltdowns...she really listened and sympathized when I told her how badly things have been going at home.

Urg. Oh well. At least there's only 3 DAYS LEFT OH MY GOD. I can't wait. Seriously. I'm blowing metaphorical capillaries every few hours. I'll be a freakish ghost-white zombie by Monday at this rate.

In other news, I'm hanging out with Vicki tomorrow. For all her Super-Christian sentimentalities, she's a true believer in UFO's, lake monsters, and government conspiracies. Its sort of awesome. I'd forgotten how avid we were about that stuff in our younger days...I mean, I never grew out of it, but I always assumed she had. One good thing out of weeks of torment! There is hope for Robo Bryi!

Thu, 12 Jul 2007 06:08:00 GMT

I have spent the last 14 hours prostrating myself before the Oscillating Fan Gods. My supplication did nothing to quell the Heat Wave Of Suck And Fail.

It wasn't long after an excruiciatingly humid car ride (the Ventilation Gods did not smile on me either) that I realized I hadn't read a novel in about two months. Yes, me. The sci-fi/fantasy wanna-be novel writer. So off to the library I went. Then I went and tried on clothes (bad idea for more than one reason) and after nearly fainting from the heat, I made another important realization: I have a fat ass, and a flabby stomach, and society's idea of a size large does not fit my apparently prodigious girth. I swear, last year I could fit into a small. I have lost weight since then. Wtf.

Then came the trip to Thrifty's (OH MY GOD AIR CONDITIONING) and bumming around in the freezer section for a good ten minutes.

Its been a big day. I'm going to go shag out on the fan until the temperature drops a little lower than "it-feels-like-I'm-in-the-world's-biggest-tea-kettle-and-it-sucks."

Wed, 11 Jul 2007 06:02:53 GMT

Remember when I had to get other people to beat most of the levels in Super Mario 64 for me?

... :D

NOT ANYMORE! I gathered almost 30 stars in just a few hours, and not only that, beat Peach's secret slide in under 20 seconds AND outraced that fucking penguin in the snow world slide! (Should I mention I also beat the whole water level on my own? I CAN SWIM NOW, BITCHES.)

...the funny thing is, I dropped into the snow world race-house by accident, and completely half-assed my start, but somehow ended up beating him. WHAAAAAT.

I'm so unbelievably proud of myself right now, srsly. :DDD

TOMORROW, BOWSER'S GOING DOWN.

Tue, 10 Jul 2007 19:19:40 GMT

Oh god its 30 degrees. In the shade. None of my shorts fit (and/or are feasibly wearable in this heat). At least mom managed to get the the huge portable fan down from the garage. I've gotten quite adept at slapping down the hem of my miniskirt every time it oscillates. (Yeah, I could just move myself or the fan, but its keeping me from death by sheer boredom.)

6 and a half days until Campbell River! My excitement waned slightly when I realized it was probably going to be just as hot up there...hotter when we drive to Port Alberni to see my Uncle Ernie. As much as I hate to admit it, I need to go clothes shopping. And lose like 10 pounds, because that's why my shorts don't fit. Faaat~ <3

This post brought to you by Bryi's zombified corpse.

And now a word from our sponsor: "BRAAAAAAAAIIIIINNNSSS."

Robo Bryi Needs A Tune-Up

Mon, 09 Jul 2007 07:06:47 GMT

I suppose today (and yesterday, for that matter) was a good day. I got a lot of stuff done with Cheryl and the group, which was much smaller than anticipated after about 6 people didn't show. For some reason, I have no problem recieving messages and feeling a little bit of confidence in my abilities when I'm around these people that I've grown to know (slightly) and trust (somewhat). Yet at home, its like someone left the Faucet of Brick running while they went to answer the telephone, and I just keep running into the accumulating pile. Anyways, tomorrow I'm going in for an optional class that Cheryl invited me to; its one I've done before (crystals, divination, chakras, etc) but practice is always good, and its going to be a very small class so I'm rather comfortable with it.

Ignore the next paragraph if you don't give a shit about my obsessive reading habit.

I finally got over myself and my rabid guilt complex and bought a couple books I've been planning to get for at least a year, plus a few surprises that caught my eye, and I decided to buy. One by Sark, which is a sort of guided journal; one in the spirit of The Illuminatus!, and by 'spirit' I mean in the same completely-on-LSD-style that I absolutely adore, 700+ pages worth. Another is one that's been recommended to me multiple times, A Brave New World by something Hutchley. I can never remember the guy's name. Speaking of classics, I beat the bullet and bought Lolita (don't laugh) because the subject that's been coming up several times in my stories is along the same general lines...some stories not quite as contriversial, some just as taboo. And the last is by Paramhansa Yogananda (once a world-famous yogi, now an ascended master) and is about this-that-and-the-other-thing regarding his opinions.

Okay, you can come back now.

I think the only other vaguely interesting news is:
- Insomnia seems to be back, at least temporarily (was it really ever gone? :/) and I'm having some wonderfully disconcerting hallucinatory experiences in the wee hours of the morning. It kind of sucks ass. Hence, my habit of either nearly falling asleep in drum journeys, and/or tripping out into hallucinations again. Also hence, my severe and debilitating exhaustion.
- In...7 days and about 8 or 9 hours, I'll be on the train and making my way up to Courtenay. Cliff and Nola are picking us up there around noon, and we'll be staying with them in Campbell River until the return (train) trip on the 19th. I'm terribly, achingly excited, and I think if it weren't for the sheer exhaustion, I'd be having a complete spaz out every few hours from the "ohmygod-ohmygod-ohmygod-ohmygod-ITS ALMOST THE 16TH OH MY GOD" mood my brain's been in for the last month or so.
- The right arrow key on my keyboard finally died after being half ripped off by the vaccume several months ago. It no longer functions...woe.
- My "omg Tam is a creepy alien pedophile" episode, which I'm sure you're all glad you missed. It seems to the contrary, but this is part of the reason I'm pushing myself to read Lolita when it gets here. I'm going to absorb it into my cell memory until I'm perfectly okay with the prospect of a 1800-something-year-old-gender-shifting-alien getting it on with a kid in his late teens. I think I handled it okay in the first draft of Love of the Unordinary (Mordecai and Aidan's decade-or-so age difference) because Mordecai was rather baffled and appalled by the entire turn of events. Actualizing it from the point of view of a higher-thinking being who doesn't really have much of a moral code may be more challenging than I previously anticipated. More so now that I know that Tymmeick's (Tam's) story is first-person. Damn you, first-person, for you are my bane. (You wouldn't guess, from how well I can write it sometimes--not to mention the fact that writing a couple journal entries every day should make me really good at it but its obviously harder when you're speaking a different voice. Guh.)

Sat, 07 Jul 2007 06:38:09 GMT

DIscount every other time I've claimed my brain to be broken.

Because the Bible...has been translated into Klingon.

Might I add, just in case that wasn't enough brain-breaking for one lifetime, that the Book of Mormon has observed identical treatment.

...there are no words.