7/31/07 02:26 pm
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥~GOODBYE~♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
♥~LIVEJOURNAL~♥
New journal is here, peeps!
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥~GOODBYE~♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
♥~LIVEJOURNAL~♥
New journal is here, peeps!
This is mostly a "note to self" sort of thing, so please to be ignoring. Unless you want to comment saying "GETCHOR LAZY ASS IN GEAH" or "U CAN DO EET" or "RELAAAAX STOP DOING SO MUCH".
* Identify and label my few hundred stones where possible
* Remove/throw away/give away stones not needed
* Take unidentified stones to The Rock Hound
* Check ferry schedules for Port Angeles day trip
* Finish reading library books, return or renew
* Start studying A Course In Miracles, again
* Read The Four Agreements and The Mastery of Love before dad force-feeds me them
* Research "cyberpunk", "steampunk", "post-apocolyptic scenarios", etc
* Develop setting for band-project-story
* Draw that cute comic
* Finish 9 items on "To Draw" list
* Start writing those contriversial essays (I have a two-page list to go on, now)
* Practice short and long distance Reiki, crystal therapy
* Work on healing stamina
* Do at least one Reiki treatment for money (saving up for a book and a singing bowl)
* Attempt to start jogging again (oh god...)
* Beat level 4 of Gauntlet Legends, already
* Make Vicki's necklace, calculate cost
* Start writing some frigging poetry and short fiction when possible
* Fangirl about car show, gold chess set, the otters and the ladybug
* Reinstall Limewire (its not working on mine or dad's computer)
* Download "No Sugar Tonight/New Mother Nature" by Guess Who (does anyone want to try to download it for me? ;O;)
* Contact the craniosacral practitoner, schedule treatment
* Quit having these stupid freaking dreams and/or nightmares all the time
* Stop being so upset and depressed and lonely and PATHETIC
* Journal more often, dammit (not here, I already get enough flak for writing too many entries...)
* Start learning Toki Pona
* ...RELAX.
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
finnigan_geist, of course.) I'm probably biased because of the filler wank that's apparently just ending (thank god) but whatever. I'm sure I'll notice if it redeems itself.I'm bleeding all over the place and do you know why? I cut my finger on a gum wrapper. WHAT THE FUCK. >:|
*shakes head* Soooo much fail.
The past few days have...sucked so much ass its not even funny anymore. The only upsides were short-lived: planning a trip to a car show (more on that later) on Sunday, seeing mah darling Vicki, and finding out the names, appearances and vague personalities of the characters for the polygamous post-apocolyptic band project. I have nothing better to do, so...
Females: Kestral, Rosary, Spider.
Males: Eden, Candy, Saint, Dragonfly.
Kestrel is the vaguely level-headed, upbeat one. Rosary is rather detatched and naive. Spider is a goth/punk throwback with an attitude problem. Eden is excessively calm and subtly sweet. Candy is the overly perky crossdresser. (Shut up its not like you didn't expect me to throw one in there. D:) Saint is uptight, confused, and too serious. Dragonfly is the eccentric tease.
There. Now, as is probably preferable, you won't hear about them again until my art posts are spammed with drawings of them. The last thing I'll say about it is: besides the whole post-apocolyptic cyberpunk world I'm throwing them into, I have no plot whatsoever. HELP PLZ? ;O; What sort of zany situations can a gothic cover band get themselves into in a government-free, law-free, the-world-is-on-fire sort of setting, anyways?
At any rate, I still can't draw so I had to use elouai to make .jpgs of their appearances for reference later. Its going to be insanely helpful, I can already tell. On a side note, I tried to get Vicki to guess which one was the transy and she couldn't figure it out. I suppose its harder to tell with small, pixelated carbon-copy forms, but whatever. It amused both of us.
Now I'm just rambling because I have nothing better to do and I'm bored but I can't read or draw or whatever...afdklafjsfa. I've been feeling extremely lonely lately for no apparent reason (besides my hermit tendancies, but I think it goes beyond even that) and I really can't figure it out and its BOTHERING ME. >:| Lune keeps telling me write violent fluff, but I'm like, "DUDE I CAN'T EVEN WRITE LET ALONE WRITE COMPLICATED PSEUDO PORN ARE YOU KIDDING ME." She had some long, rambly reason why, but I can't remember it now.
My heart hurts. :(
Guess who dropped off the deep end again.
Yeah, me. How the fuck did you guess.
God, its like Paxil withdrawl all over again. Can't read, can't write coherantly, can't comprehend words or numbers, can't focus or concentrate, jerky body movement, joint pain, can't talk straight, not sleeping, hallucinations, voices starting up again...
I'm such a fucking wreck its almost funny.
Is it just me, or was today a really fucking bad day?
I think its just me.
Maybe I'm exaggerating. It wasn't really that bad of a day, but it was pretty darn awful. I can barely walk because I've put my left hip out somehow (have you ever put the sacral area of your hip out? You know, the part where there's two dimples fairly low on your spine? Oh-god-it-hurts-like-a-bitch), and I've been feeling sick and...generally gross, all day. I keep breaking out into random rashes on my arms and back that aren't very uncomfortable at all...until I scratch them slightly, after which they burn like someone chucked boiling water onto me for up to 15 minutes. I went to bed at a reasonable hour last night, but was strangely too exhausted to get up until around 1:30 in the afternoon. I've been having these terrible headaches on top of all that, but since I vowed not to take pain-medication anymore, its worse than I'm used to. Yes, that means I'm not taking Advil for the hip issue, either. On top of the body exhaustion, there's some kind of mental exhaustion that seems to prevent me from doing anything that requires much thinking...I can't read out numbers or spell words aloud without messing them up, I can't read more than a few pages in a sitting before having to put the text down for several minutes, and writing is on the passable side of improbable, but I can feel that slipping too. Its like the comprehending sector in my brain is shutting off.
I don't know where I was going with that, but it was probably pretty emo. This is just my generic "lol im upset" post for the week, so either ignore it or smother me with affection or shoot me or whatever. At least I managed to order Super Smash Bros in one of my rare coherant moments, earlier. I'm living from moment to moment right now, and I don't know what I'm going to do when the something-to-look-forward-to's run out.
1. Total number of books I've owned:
It would take another 16 years just to attempt to count them. Probably several hundred, possibly more.
2. Last book I bought:
That would be Gravity's Rainbow. Its essentially one of those insane, on-drugs books, but the difference between this and books like The Illuminatus! is the fact that its not only a cult classic, its a true classic. That being said, I haven't read it yet.
3. Last book I read:
The Stonehenge Gate, a sci fi novel. After I got past the somewhat pointless alien racism diatribes and endless repeats of the characters saying "your Little Mama's hell" and "my Little Mama's hell", it was a somewhat pleasant read. Definately not a favorite, though. I'd give it 3 out of 5 stars, I think.
4. Ten books that mean a lot to me: (in no specific order)
1. The Illuminatus by Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson. I have to echo myself, but its wonderfully, brain-breakingly cracktastic. Take every known addictive substance ever created, put it in text form, and read it. You now have yourself a copy of The Illuminatus. I'd never be able to explain the plot if you gave me a year...there's many allusions to the Bavarian Illuminati as well as almost every conspiracy theory in existance. Talking dolphins, hippie riots, addicted geniuses, more hallucinations than you can shake a stick at.
2. Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand. (I couldn't give the exact page for this one, because there's so many companies publishing it.) The largest, most involved, most intelligent tome I've ever read, and again, much too large and spectacular to even begin to describe the plot. A lot of it centers around a national train station, and a hell of a lot of psychology and drama.
3. Lord of the Rings by J.R.R. Tolkien. Do I even need to say it?
4. Dhalgren by Samuel R. Delany. Post apocalyptic science fiction with a twist. Sort of a mix of the crack from Illuminatus, the stunning prose and characterization of Atlas Shrugged, and the epic plot proportions of LoTR. Packs the end of the world into 879 pages, but at the end you still haven't figured out if it was real or not, if the characters survived, if you were really on Earth, and if the end ever came, what the main character's real name was.
5. The Man Who Fell In Love With The Moon by Tom Spanbauer. I'm sure you all remember my extreme fangirling, and I don't need to repeat myself. The plot is set in the Old West, complete with gay cowboys, "Indians" (Native Americans), brothels, and the best character voice I've ever read. All of his books are 4.5/5 or 5 stars, in my opinion.
6. Dreamcatcher by Stephen King. Its not typical "horror" like the rest of his books (although it has a fair amount of horror, gore, suspense and terror mixed in) but rather modern science fiction: alien invasion, but in a way you'd never expect. Not many books make me laugh out loud, but this one has...giggling fits are just the start for Dreamcatcher, though. It sways between anger, terror, hilarity, insanity, sadness, and dubious amounts of "what...the...FUCK...?"
7. What The Bleep Do We Know?! by various authors. I don't think I need to explain my love for this one, either.
8. Secrets In The Fields by Freddie Silva. The most complete and involved manuscript on crop circles ever written. It includes every theory ever put forth, every attempt at hoaxing, and the amazing connection of every circle to the school of Sacred Geometry.
9. Conversations With God by Neale Donald Walsh. A wonderful channeled narriative between Walsh and God (or, should I say, the Universal conciousness, or Goddess, or whatever) spanning three books. Every single thing mentioned makes perfect sense, and the text is beyond beautiful. I try not to push spiritual things on people because of the modern tendancy to view them as hoaky and contrived, but these books are absolutely brilliant. Some people may say they're fiction, but even if they are...does it matter, when the statements are so true?
10. Otherland (the first four books on the page) by Tad Williams. Without a doubt, the best science fiction/cyberpunk books I've ever read. At the end of the fourth and final novel, you still want more. Tad's imagination is without par, and the worlds he creates are the most lyrical and inventive I've ever seen.
5. Which 5 people would you most like to see fill this out in their blog?
Well, since only two people that I know of actually read my journal, I'd like to see pvtpuppet and thedivinechaos have a go at it, if you want. :3 The list of "ten books" was actually five to begin with (I changed it because I couldn't whittle the list down that far) so feel free to cut the extra five off if you want to do it.
Okay, so, reasons I did the meme. One, I wanted to, but two...well, it seems inconsequential, but I'm kind of irked. I had hoped Eliseo's story would be the last for a long time, but of course with these new characters popping up I feel obligated to start fleshing their story out, at least a little. I remembered that when the characters came to me originally, a few years ago, they'd been inspired by...none other than Dhalgren. What irks me is not so much being ambushed by a new story when I'm not even working on my current ones, but rather the timing of something else. I have this obsession about finishing library books without renewing them, and also an obsession with finishing books to the bitter end even if they're absolute pap. A third--not obsession but instead, bad habit--is getting really into a book, forgetting about it for what's usually a crisis reason, and then when the third renew expires (the library only allows 3) not being able to finish it in time.
My problem is, I have all three of those obsessions and/or bad habits in play right now, and about 15 library books I need to read, but since the characters popped up again on Thursday, I've been mournfully staring at the dog-eared copy of Dhalgren that was taunting me from the bookshelf. I ignored the temptation for a few days, but as soon as I finally got assertive and said "Aw, fuckit" and picked it up to start reading...I barely made it past page 2 before a wave of exhaustion, nausea, and one hell of a migraine laid me out for the count.
THERE'S A CONSPIRACY OCCURRING SOMEWHERE HERE >:|
That concludes this entirely pointless waste-of-your-time-post.
HONEY, I'M HOOOOOME~
Thank god. And now, without further adieu...links, because LiveJournal is being an ass and not allowing images.
A rather old image of Tashum and Adel. Since Adel is/was a dragon, I figured it might be cold-blooded.
From left to right, Aiah, Larkaiis and Shoaunen. Larkaiis and Shoaunen are having their usual spat over Aiah's refusal to cover her face (its an incredibly strict Tahar custom) while Aiah waxes distressed over the whole situation. She's showing off her skin here, after its been severely damaged by either the radiation she was exposed to or the Taharan air.
White Buffalo Calf Woman, offering a peace pipe. I obviously have no idea what pipes look like. Or buffalos.
A confrontation Jynn and Taeh have after Taeh's return. The background of this takes too long to explain, but it makes slightly more sense if you know that they're half sisters. Same mother: Kerinsa. (Although really the only thing they inheirited from her was their bad attitiudes and lack of morals. Taeh more so than Jynn.)
A sketch of Raven, being her usual self. I'm fiddling with her tattoos almost every time I draw her, but the concept of something pointing at her crotch seems to be a staple.
This will make almost no sense if you haven't read anything by Drunvalo Melchizedeck. Needless to say, after I read that paragraph, this popped into my head immediately and I couldn't keep reading until I'd done it justice.
Taeh, who for some reason morphed into a bruised skater girl for this picture. I couldn't figure out a decal for the skateboard, though. (This is done with markers, so I'm really proud of the bruises and her hair.)
Raven, being gorgeous. Much love for the corset.
More corset love, although the character is unnamed. First time I've drawn a mohawk. This one's unfinished, but I probably won't complete it.
Drawn the night I found out Hapshutset's body was discovered in Egypt. What an ancient Egyptian woman is doing in a contoured corset and Victorian skirts, I don't know, but I'm in love with this drawing. :3
First of the sketches from Campbell River. This was done on Monday, soon after we arrived off of the train. I actually got the idea on the train ride, but was too tired to draw it then. Anyways, a naive woman with nervous hands, and a daughter far more mature than her.
The same woman and child, at what I believe the woman's role is: a maid, or something similar. She's got that deer in headlights look, doesn't she? Her poor daughter looks so long-suffering.
Ryonyhana and the sylyion cub she tried to raise. I'll have to ask her what happened to it after she took Orenda's post-mortem role as Age Messiah.
My favorite of the Campbell River pictures. It really came out of the blue Wednesday morning.
Adel. I wanted to show his relationship to the dragons, although his old form certainly wasn't a traditional form. To us, anyways. He's average, as Ayee dragons go.
Drawn after I overheard a conversation I wasn't meant to, about my apparent "appalling manners" and how I'm "sixteen going on six". I think a picture like this has been brewing for a while. Fun fact: look, its Kevin!
I looked like shit Wednesday night, so here, have a self-portrait. My eyes really did look like that in the mirror; dull and lifeless. Surprisingly, for a self-angst picture, I like how this turned out. It actually looks like me, for once.
Some creature making a snarly-face. Wednesday night, too.
Warning: contains a goodly amount of gore, if you're allergic/attracted to that. Also Wednesday night, when I was feeling numb and torn. Reminiscent of the old amputation/autopsy angst drawings I used to do.
The deer-in-headlights woman, in what's probably a really uncomfortable corset, on a swing. Chucked this onto the page in about 5 minutes.
This morning, while feeling rather victimized and downtrodden. TRU FAX. Also; braaaaains.
Oh god that was a lot of linking. I will not apologize for the long post, because its all LiveJournal's fault. (Didn't I hear something about them not working with Photobucket anymore, or vice versa? Augh.)
